For too long, we’ve all heard that the music industry is going to the dogs. So we decided to investigate further and, after many hours of exhaustive research, discovered that the interwebs are to blame. It’s all down to sharing, streaming and the general democratisation of available content, apparently.
That sounded like a suspiciously simple and convenient answer. So we dug a bit deeper and discovered the Machiavellian fiends behind this plot to subvert an industry as upstanding and reputable as the music business. Yes, you guessed it: cats.
Because while people might take their dogs to the park, they’ve taken their cats to the internet. And once there, they’ve hijacked the hearts, minds and eyeballs of many a potential music listener. Once, fans waited eagerly for the latest release from their favourite artist, cash gripped tight in palms clammy with excitement. Now they’re easily distracted by a veritable army of cat-related content. Chasing laser pointers, attaching themselves to screen doors. Even—oh, the irony—playing keyboards. Do you think it’s any coincidence that Napster’s logo looked like a cat wearing headphones? It all started there, people.
We should have seen it coming back in 2007!
So, like any responsible champion for musicians all over the world, we realised we had a decision to make: bow down and cower at the paws of our feline overlords, or fight the good fight, no matter what the cost.
We chose the bowing and cowering.
Hey, we might be innovators, but we’re not equipped to stand up to that kind of power just yet! So we’re not in the least bit ashamed to announce that, as of today, April 1st 2016, BandLab will officially become CatLab.
Of course you can, Supreme Leader.
In recognition of the importance of cats to all things web-based, our newly-revised web app will now feature the “drum kitty”, where you can create beats using cat-based sounds.
There’s also a whole new area of curated content where this new cat-egory of musical collaborations will be displayed for all to discover.
So go ahead and start exploring CatLab today. Even the most dedicated and talented musicians must realise that we’re all powerless to resist.
The future of the industry is here. And it has whiskers, a tail—and very sharp claws.
Brought to you by the team formerly known as BandLab.
BandLab was a new cloud platform that musicians used to capture their ideas and create or produce new songs with unprecedented levels of collaboration from other musicians and fans all around the world.